Thursday 03.28.2024

so um ig an alcohol tw for this one idk i try not to make these triggering for anyone, but i can't rlly describe my day w out talking about it. so yea if ur sensitive to that then i don't reccomend this one. and knowing my current mental state i wouldn't reccomend tomorrow's either. obviously idk the future so i can't do this for tmrw yet, but i'll try to give a quick trigger free tldr for today spoilers obvi if ur gonna read the whole thing. tldr: apush: test no one finished, comp sci: test, screen writing: made a poster about the soska sisters and did chem hw, chem: test, home: looked for letters from my moms bsf that passed before i was born (failed), got yelled at for not being able to hear my parents calling me, got my shein order (now i have more bead and phone cases)

ok now for those of u who aren't gonna get triggered by a more indepth description of my day. so anyway i kinda hated life a little too much and came to school a little tispy and took my vodker bottle w me. so anyway in apush we had a test that ofc i took a little tispy, no one noticed that there was anything wrong w me. ig i js always act drunk so i js looked normal. so we weren't allowed to have water on our desk from whart i understood which is the only reason i wasn't fucking hammered. idk my ex's existence js brings out the addict in me. anyway litteraly no one finished the test. i was almost done so i js scribbled gir and nooooo on my test the second the bell rang. anyway we had to go to hr and my incredibly sober ass left my stuff in 1st block and has to ask my teacher to get it. idk y i told the teacher in the other room that i didn't know where my stuff was when i saw it as i walked in, but imma js blame the alcohol. i did get it tho. literally js read dnganronpa after that. then comp sci we took a test and i js drank celsius. the test was half computer half paper and my foot fell asleep (idk if that was booze or not) and i looked fucking stupid. also i borrowed a pencil and my teacher plays favorites to the girls so this guy got annoyed cuz he can't get a pencil cuz he's boy. i mean if sexism works in my favor is it rlly sexism? so anyway did that. then i did my chem hw and screenwriting work in screenwriting. so 4th block i did the test fast af but the extra credit looked too hard so i js drew gir and my science teacher liked it and then told me i could do the shorthand electron configuration so i did that. then i went to practice for my school's trivia team and i almost fell off a desk cuz the answer was blink-182 and i was too excited, but also pretty sober atp. for some reason when i got home i decided to look for the letters from my mom's best friend who passed when they were both in highschool. ig i js wanted to see if i could understand them now that im older or maybe i js wanted to think that i wouldn't b alone when i went to heaven, but then again would i even go to heaven. i had no luck finding them so i js chilled on my dryer listening to shoegaze and ruminating. anyway my parents got mad cuz i couldn't hear them over the heater, the shoegaze, the plumbing, and the depression. but like bro tf did u think i did. like yea bro js went to the drugs and strippers demension for a bit, woopsies. so then i finally got my shein packages, one had beads 4 kandi, the other had a bajillion phone cases and some clothes. then i finally did my screenwriting hw for the 1st time in a million years. bro i think booze js helps me work. like im sacrificing my liver for my life. im not trying to reccommend it to anyone but i think im js better drunk. idt it's good, i think im js so ass it kinda helps me b less ass. anyway my friend asked me for a bracelet so ill make it. i also wrote him a nice note cuz ik he's struggling and i care about him. im pretty unstable tho so im a little mad at him now for saying he wanted to hang out at some point but then also going to the party i wasn't invited to. like i shouldn't b mad but i am, but if i tell him, he won't go and then i'll feel bad, so i js gotta pretend idc cuz its none of my business anyway. i wasn't supposed to find out in the 1st place. its all my fault. i shouldnt have cared.