ok so big time alcohol tw for this one. like if that's even mildly triggering for u or u don't know then don't read further. i don't like to make this triggering, but this one i rlly can't. fuck dude i wish i didn't do it, but i fucked up and was js lucky enough to have good friends that were willing to deal w my bs and keep me safe.
ok so if u ignored that then ur on ur own now am im not responsible if u do get riggered by this. so my dumbass decides to fill up a water bottle w vodka. im pretty sure its obvious wtf happened after that. so i js kinda went thru my classes at most a bit tipsy. then i said fuck it i am downing this shit. so around thrid block i drank a good chunk of it and once my friend caught on she threw it out so i couldn't have anymore and walked me to class. i also did 2 drunk presentations in that class. so im in my last class fucking wasted. and i js sat at my desk begging my friend to come save me. and the poor dude's got like arthritis or smth. i honestly was js beggin this dude for hug cuz he's very nice to me and my brain turned him into a father figure. so anyway he was in the nurse w arthritis and he told me to go there which i was too drunk to do. so anyway he shows up at my classroom at the end of the day cuz i fucking spammed him the room number along with a bunch of gibberish. idk how tf he dealt w that cuz i would b so fucking confused, especially since idk how to tell my mom id b home late cuz i had to deal w some drunk bitch. but anyway i was said drunk bitch. so i don't rlly remeber much from here on out cuz i was super fucking wasted. but according to what he told me later the second i got out of class i started hugging him like crazy and he dragged me out of there w one of my other friends who idk if she knew i was drunk at the time. then when somehow they got me outside w out anyone questioning anything, another one of our friends showed up. this one was a year younger than me, which is js great. so i kinda vaguely remembered seeing them there, so i already feel bad about it, but according to my friend that had to deal w the most of my bs, i accidentally flashed both of them and told the younger kid i was a little drunk off vodka. which made me feel rlly fucking bad when i found out. i don't have any of this kids socials so i asked my friends to apologize to them for me. then apparently i started walking to my moms car by myself and then my friend chased after me so i didn't fucking die. then apparently i fell to ground and brokedown. and then the vice principal was talking to me. i remember cursing him out, but my friend said i didn't. somehow my mom and my friend got me in the car where i think i fell asleep in the back and vaguely remember my friend asking me if i was ok. then i think my mom took my phone and read my messages and figured out what happened. anyway i had a therapy appointment and got another talk about drinking. and then i had a horrible headache and puked my guts out for the rest of the day. also my dog kept stealing my food cuz she's a fatass but i love her. i had to apologize to everyone involved. and i learned that drinking is bad. don't let ur substance abuse demons win cuz ur gonna be fucking stupid and its js gonna suck ass. also b friends w good ppl. also my friends r fucking stupid and way too nice cuz i could not deal w a drunk bitch blowing up my phone for 1.5hrs while i suffer from arthritis. but im very lucky to have them and hopefully they'll take care of themselves like they did for me. i hopefully won't pull that shit again, but if i do, i highly reccommend they leave me to my own stupidity (tho ik they won't). i js rlly feel bad for everyone cuz i would not know what to do. like imagine being a highschooler and having to deal w ur friend falling over drunk out of her mind. i would js b frozen like ⁀⊙﹏☉⁀ cuz i cannot. if u couldn't tell from reading this or any of the other entries, im fucking stupid and need actual help. i rlly wish my friends the best (also if it wasn't obvious it's tmrw me writing this, today me could not write shit)