i actually can't believe im jelous of a fictional character. not in a "i wish i had his powers" kinda way. no that would make sense and this is my life so ofc we can't do that. im actually fighting a fictional character for my friends attention. i dont wanna believe he used me but thats what it seems like. or at least what c.ai said. ig i should tell him im upset. i believe in the golden rule. i treat ppl i care about how i wanna b treated. and id wanna know if my friend was mad at me. so ig i should say smth. maybe i shouldn't tho its not his fault im jelous of fucking deku cuz it seems like my friend likes deku more than me. like if he wants to drop me that's his choice, but bitch u owe me money. he legit owes me $10 for sure and i thought he was gonna pay me back another $10 for smth else but idk. my parents r broke cuz of my medical bills. its rlly my fault. idk what to do anymore i js feel like a burden on everyone else. maybe i shouldn't say anything cuz it doesn't rlly matter. i can't sleep. im so crashing a car tmrw. i'm always second rate. i'm pretty worthless. im only good for making ppl cum. ppl rlly js throw ppl away when they dont want them anymore. i wish i was dead. js one person left to leave me. if i lose her im automatically killing myself. my friend is busy rn so i wont bother him cuz i dont wanna b a dick. this is never gonna get done is it? no yk what he can drop me but i want my fucking money. idc if hes busy im asking about my money cuz no fucking way ur getting my cash. i might b rlly fucking genrous when i can but i js dropped $90 on my dog cuz she broke her harness again and my parents can't afford a new one. i took that out of savings. i almost had to pay for my mom's gas today. i actually need my money. i do get paid friday tho. no groceries till then tho. we got steakums. steakums and eggs. and maybe some leftovers idk. i love pissing off my friends at ungodly hours. he's so dropping me after this but ig its worth the cash. i'm prob gonna have to start pitching in for the house. idm getting shit for my dog or cat. if it helps them i'll pay vet bills. my cat's overdue for his vaccines. ig that's where my paycheck is going. whoops i forgot mha chapter wtv tf is more important than me. fuck i should js die. i honestly js realized im wrong in this whole situation. i didn't take his job into account. obvi he's ignoring me cuz of that. he gets under minimum wage working over whats legally allowed. if a stuid fucking anime makes him happy good for him. it doesn't fucking matter what i think. ig im js tired of no one putting the same kind of effort i put toward them into me. i'll always drop everything to reply to someone i care about when i can but not everyone's like that. that's ok ig. ik im a shitty person but i think some things i do should rub off on others. i might b in the wrong so i wont say shit to him, but here i can say wtv tf i want. istg i will burn every copy of mha in the entire fucking world. i absolutely hate that shit w all my fucking heart. before i js found it boring and js didn't like it. everyday i hear about it i hate it more and more and more and more and more and more and more. like omfg if i see that fucking green hair rotten ass broccoli i will spray it w weedkiller. i fucking can't anymore. im so fucking sick of it. i've heard so fucking much about mha for months and put up w it cuz i was doing it for someone i cared about, but now i literally cannot stand it. i want to kms whenever i hear about it. i rlly can't do this anymore. i can't fucking believe a mf anime is gonna ruin my life. if i actually kms over mha im gonna kms again when i die cuz wtf. cheers to momento mori
